Take it away, Will.
1. Brown is the new black. And the new red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and purple.
2. If it looks the least bit like church clothes, immediately launch into bobcat mode, making it impossible for any human to approach you without the protection of full body armor.
3. If you are somehow squeezed or bribed into church clothing, IMMEDIATELY smear something purple, red, or brown down the front of it.
|Gettin' just a lil' bit of baby fever looking at this squishable creature...|
13. Coats are for keeping the hangers in your closet warm. If you're a total wimp and get cold in the dead of winter, a sweater vest is the way to go.
14. The tuxedo t-shirt hits just the right note for almost any occasion. It's one part Fly Me to the Moon with a hefty dose of Friends in Low Places.