Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Will's Tips for Stylin' and Profilin'

Since Sarah has her own rules for fashion (found here), I thought it only fair that Will get a chance to lay down the law for the menfolk out there.

Take it away, Will.

1. Brown is the new black.  And the new red, blue, green, yellow, orange, and purple.

2. If it looks the least bit like church clothes, immediately launch into bobcat mode, making it impossible for any human to approach you without the protection of full body armor.

3.  If you are somehow squeezed or bribed into church clothing, IMMEDIATELY smear something purple, red, or brown down the front of it.

Gettin' just a lil' bit of baby fever looking at this squishable creature...
4.  Horizontal stripes are actually very flattering.  By accentuating the rest of the body, they're quite slimming to the cranial area.

5.  Big hair and pouty lips are IN.

6.  Dino tails are appropriate for every occasion.

7.  It's cool to match outfits with your sister as long as it's February and you're wearing a Christmas shirt. 

8.  Mixing stripes and sock monkeys is a fashion DO.

9.  White sunglasses aren't just for South Beach.
10.  Sometimes a lion suit is the perfect outfit to lounge in.

11.  Paint is really the only accessory you need.  Believe it or not, this is body paint done so meticulously that it exactly resembles a diaper.  Eat your hearts out Sports Illustrated.

12.  Walk softly, but carry a big stick... to hit your sister with.

13. Coats are for keeping the hangers in your closet warm.  If you're a total wimp and get cold in the dead of winter, a sweater vest is the way to go.

14. The tuxedo t-shirt hits just the right note for almost any occasion.  It's one part Fly Me to the Moon with a hefty dose of Friends in Low Places.

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